Thursday, February 18, 2010

Adventure for the day

So I'm up at CC right now at the Terrace Cafe just editing my pictures until I meet up with Paige to eat lunch in the Student Union. THEN I'm going to hang out with Melissa, and somewhere in my adventure today: I'm going to visit Dr. Johnston and Monica! :) Saturday is Melissa's birthday, so to celebrate, I came up here and made her FUNETTI CUPCAKES!! eeeeeekk!

I'll be honest, it's really strange being here again. I've only been gone EXACTLY 3 weeks but it still feels weird just popping up out of the blue. I miss this place SO much, and a HUMUNGO part of me wishes I never left...but that small part of me knows I needed to for my health. I just need to take large breaks for time to time, and I can't do that while going to school. Everyone keeps asking me if I'll be able to move to Charleston in April to go to the AI, and honestly, I KNOW I'm not able to...but I'm taking the leap of faith anyway! My daddy used to always call me "Hatch" when I was little because I would always be hatching out of my shell. But that shell quickly filled back up when my daddy left. But then a very important lady opened that shell back up and I became "Hatch" again. My momma told me the other day that I'm always taking leaps of faith no matter how big or how small they are, and that I will always do whatever I am being given no matter what comes my way....and the biggest challenge I've had has to deal with my seizures and it kills me that they hold me back and slow me down sometimes. But I'm determined that I won't let this get the best of me. I'm going to keep moving on with a smile on my face no matter how hard it is because if God puts an obstacle in my life, He only does it to make me a stronger person. I know that God is doing everything for a reason and even though I don't know that reason right now, I'm trusting in Him to show me the way. I know God wants me to go to Charleston: I can just feel it in my heart, and I can't explain it no matter how many times I try and no matter how many questions are asked. If God didn't want me to go, then He wouldn't have made it where I would have gotten accepted...but He did and I'm ready to face the challenge and the challenges that wait ahead.

ANYWAY! I hope everyone has a blessed day! Off to eat lunch with Paige :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord..." Jeremiah 29:11 ♥ †

I am SERIOUSLY on top of the world right now, and no one can bring me down! God has blessed me with so much in my life and all I can do is smile about it and be thankful for every door He has opened, every person He has put in my life, every opportunity He has let me have a chance at, every accomplishment He has helped me achieve and get through, every heartache that has come my way, every single thing I have and have been through in my life ALL GOES TO HIM because everything I have been able to do and everything I have pushed through, God has made me a stronger person, and I'm SO THANKFUL to have such a strong-willed mind set on every little thing! I want to thank my momma who has been here since day one pushing me and telling me that I can do ANYTHING that I set my heart and mind to and who has been my hero through everything! (KAY-SERA-SERA) I thank my brother Dakota, my sister Amber, and my brother-in-law Jon-Ryan for always being there for me, always giving me hugs (and the "lucky kisses" Dakota gives me), who are always telling me I can do anything and everything in this "big wide world full of icky girls" as Dakota calls it, who have given me so much advice, and who have been the BEST siblings a girl could have! I thank my grandparents who have been 110% supportive in everything I do and everything I set my mind to and who have my back with every little thing! I thank my Aunt Lisa and Uncle Joel who have been like second parents to me and who have given me SO much advice about every little thing and who have been there for be every step of the way! I thank my daddy who has always pushed me to do well in school and who has been supportive of every decision I've made for my life! (DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'!) I thank my stepmomma, Tammy, who has been here for SO LONG, who has always been here for me through the good, bad, and ugly, and who is STILL here for me to this day! (GOTTA LIVE LIKE WE'RE DYING! and AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH! "I divorced the man, not the 'daugher'!") I thank KRay for being there for me ALL THROUGHOUT high school and even to this day, who brought me out of my shell and into the person I am today, who has given me SO much advice, who is right by my side to this day, who has uplifted me with so many encouraging words, who has jumped on the band-wagon of "2nd moms", and who I give most of the credit to for everything I have accomplished because without her pushing me and opening me up, I wouldn't have made it this far! I thank Pocahontas (MRS. MOORE!) who has been here cheering me along side KRay supporting me in every way, given me advice, giving me encouraging words when I needed them the most and even when I thought I didn't need any, telling me I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to, and just being the part of the "2nd mom" crew! I thank my best friend Jessie JJ the Jetplane Beck who has been here for me ever since 3rd grade (10 YEARS BABE!), who I've never been in ONE SINGLE argument with, who makes me laugh in any given situation, and who has had my back since the day we've met! I thank JESSICA LAUREN MOYER! (aka BEAN!) who, even though I've only been good friends with for a short while, has given me so much advice, who has my back with pretty much anything!, who I can tell anything to, and who makes me laugh at any given point! I thank Brittany Martin who has given me so much hope in my life!, who has been there for me through everything, who makes me laugh without saying a words, and who I thank for bringing photography back in my life because without her, I wouldn't have the same passion for photography like I do now! I thank Dr. Johnston and Alexis Murdock, the 2 most amazing profesors at CC in my book! These two lovely ladies have given me SO much support just in the short time I've known them, who know exactly what to say to make me feel better, who have been there for me pushing me and telling me to never give up on my dreams, and who I love very love! I thank ALL of my friends and family who have helped me and guided me through my life, who have given me SO much advice, who I love with my WHOLE heart!

WOW!

I haven't posted ANYTHING in awhile and there has been A LOT going on since the last time I posted so let's see...

1.) Halloween was amazing! I made the choice to go trick-or-treating with Dakota and our dad at my dad's parents' house (for old time sake) INSTEAD OF going out in the Vista/5 Points with my friends...you know a girl loves her family to blow of her friends on HALLOWEEN! but my friends understood and still love me all the same :)

2.) 2 weeks before my birthday, my dad had to move to West Virginia with Terry. That tore me apart but I understood that he had to do what he had to do. It tore my dad apart too.

3.) My 19th birthday: WELL THAT could have gone better. I spent my birthday with a very FABULOUS person though (KRay), but the day before my birthday and the day OF my birthday, I had a seizure. The day before my birthday I had to be rushed to the ER. So yeah not a very good place to spend your birthday and not the greatest condition either...and not having my daddy here for my birthday killed me too...so yeah probably the WORST birthday ever! but hey at least it wasn't my 18th birthday (WHICH IS A BIG ONE I KID YOU NOT!) or at my Sweet 16...I think I would have cried! lol

4.) The last few weeks were very hard on me! Exams were tough when I didn't know some of the materials from being out so much because of my seizures. But in the end, I did well except in my Reading class.

5.) The last few weeks before Christmas Break, I had decided to take a leave of absense for the Spring semester because I just didn't want to go through another awful semester with my seizures (awful as in I had 22 seizures JUST in the month of NOVEMBER!). But they told me to think about my decision over Christmas Break which I thought to myself that there was nothing to think about because taking a leave of absense is what I NEEDED to do for myself. I strongly tried to fight against it, but I just couldn't.

6.) CHRISTMAS BREAK WAS AMAZING! I got to spend time with a lot of my family and friends. The first day of Christmas Break, I go to spend the afternoon with KRay and Pocahontas (aka Mrs. Ray and Mrs. Moore if I've never mentioned that in this blog). They are totally amazing and support me 110% in everything I set my mind to do, and I love them both SO much (AND EQUALLY). :) The second day of Christmas Break, my mom's dad side of the family had a family reunion so those are always fun getting to see all of my family that I don't get to see on a regular basis. (My mom's side of the family is HUMONGO!!! my grandpa is one out of I believe 9 or 10 boys? and my grandma has 2 sisters and then I think 6 brothers? I seriosuly can't keep up with everyone lol, BUT I love them ALL!) Christmas was amazing! We made a little change-a-roo this year (which I don't like changes when it comes to holiday get-togethers because I like everything to be the same every year, but they did change after my parents got a divorce so hey! change is a good thing I guess, but still...NO!!! lol) BUT ANYWAY! THIS year the adults weren't going to exchange presents (and when I say adults I mean OLD PEOPLE tehe!) but you know how family goes, everyone feels bad and winds up getting or making everyone A LITTLE SOMETHING! Instead of opening up presents that our grandparents gave us; me, Dakota, and Amber opened up presents from them on Christmas Eve (when my parents were together, we'd always go to my dad's parents' house and have Christmas with them and my aunt and uncles and sometimes cousins, but they changed after my parents got divorced and then when my dad and stepmom got divorced). So yeah, it kinda felt strange just a tiny bit. But nonetheless, it was so nice spending time with my family! Christmas morning, we all opened presents from my mom and then went to my mom's parents house (again) to eat Brunch with my grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins. Then 3 days after Christmas, my dad drove down from West Virginia to spend Christmas with us! He stayed here for 3 days and played with Dakota, so I'm SO glad my dad got to do that. Honestly, I don't think my dad has seen Dakota for 3 straight days since my dad was with my stepmom. I'll be honest, it tears me apart that I don't get to see my dad's side of the family for holidays anymore. I still talk to them and have relationships with them because they're my family and NOTHING'S going to tear me apart from my family. Everything changed once my parents divorced and then my dad and stepmom divorced. I don't think I would have as strong of a relationship with my dad's parents like I do now if it weren't for my stepmom. I never knew this (always sensed it but guess I didn't want to believe it) that my stepmom was the one who kept my family together (as in she's the reason my dad saw us every other weekend like he was scheduled to get us and she's the reason why my dad talked to his parents while my dad and stepmom were together....and I guess that's because my dad was so ashamed of leaving my mom that he couldn't face his parents....so I'm SO thankful that my stepmom pushed him with the time she had with him and I'm glad she's still here for me 110% TO THIS DAY! I LOVE YOU TAE!)

7.) Christmas Break cont.: NEW YEAR'S EDITION :))) I spent New Year's with my stepmom, Tammy, and her family. and ok EVERYONE asks me, "is that weird?" and the convo goes something like this: random friend: "isn't that weird?" me: "what's weird? (acting like I have NO clue what they're talking about when clearly I do pshhh)" random friend: "that your dad and stepmom are divorced, but you STILL have a relationship with HER AND HER NEW FAMILY?!?!" me: "...." haha that's pretty much HOW IT GOES! and the only thing I HONESTLY say is that YEAH! it WAS weird when Tammy asked me the Summer of 2008 to come spend a week with her (and her "new" family). And again, I'll be honest, I was awkward and she knew it was a little awkward, but they made me feel comfortable and they didn't make me feel like, "oh she's the EX stepdaughter!" NO! they welcomed me into their family like I'm one of theirs (even though they're clearly PECAN TAN as Michael calls it...and well, me? I'M CHALK WHITE! haha! pshhh SO IS TAMMY SO THERE! lol). But yeah, when I think about someone else asking me if it's weird, I totally udnerstand how it's weird TRUST ME! BUT ANYWAY!!! (I talk too much so yah!) So yeah, I HAD A LOT OF FUN at her house but will not discuss the content of the FUN! bahahaha Tammy knows what I'm talking about tehe! :)

8.) OK! so everyone probably wondering what my decision was about school: to stay at CC or take a leave of absence? WELL! I decided to go back to CC for the Spring semester. I thought I was ready to go back, and I was SO excited to go back! BUT over Christmas break, I decided to change my majors (notice the plural!). I decided to DROP my math major and just stick to my photography major! And I actually have been talking to The Art Institute of Charleston and trying to get into that school...BUT OK MORE DETAILS IN LATE NUMBERS :)

9.) ok SO! This semester was going well. I scheduled all of my classes and since I was unable to change my majors at CC, the LOVELY Dr. Hopkins scheduled me in classes that were defined as me being an undeclared major even though my records still say I'm a math major. But yeah, so I love all of my classes and they were going very well. UNTIL! the 2nd week of classes, I passed out in the BACK hallway of the music hall! (and when I say BACK hallway, I mean the hallway that NO ONE ever take yeah lucky me!) So, no one found me for a good 15 minutes. The girl who found me was in my class, she was new to this class and didn't know where the bathroom was, and found me lying in the hallway and I'm SO thankful because we had at least 30-45 min. left of class when I looked at the clock and went to the bathroom. I felt perfectly fine and I thought I had made it to the bathroom GUESS NOT! So yeah I was rushed to the ER because I hit my head on the floor and I was unconscious so yeah not a very pleasant Wednesday that was! I felt fine but wasn't allowed to go to any of my classes until the next Monday, but I went that Friday like a stubborn little bug and went anyway because I just couldn't get far behind. Well the weekend approached, I felt fine, I got all of my assignments that I missed from my professors, and was being very deligent in my work throughout the weekend. On Monday, I woke up SO pumped and motivated. I was SO busy that day but was motivated to get everything done. I didn't feel stressed or under any pressure and I was taking one thing at a time. Tuesday night, I felt a little weird. I couldn't breathe that well, but fell asleep very early. Wednesday night, I felt EXTREMELY weird! I couldn't breathe which kept me up all night! But when I woke up Thursday morning, I felt well enough to go to class. I got ready, got my books and headed out of my dorm. Usually, I go straight down the stairs (our dorm room is right next to the door that leads to the stairs, so no walking down the hallway junk). Well, something kept telling me that I needed to go fill my waterbottle up in the waterfountain that's DOWN the hallway and on the opposite side of the stairs. So I went back in my room, grabbed my water bottle, laughed at Melissa because her mouth was wide open as she slept tehe!, and then I was out the door again. But this time, I headed DOWN the hallway instead of down the stairs. Something kept telling me that I needed to get water from THAT fountain. I was going to go downstairs and hit the last water fountain I saw or just get water in the building my class was, but NO I had to go to THAT waterfountain down the hall from my room. So I did, but half-way down I collapsed out of no where and with no warning at all. And no one found me for a good 20 minutes. I was having a seizure and I hit my head on the floor again, but this time the left side of my head. But then I stopped having a seizure and was perfectly still, but I was unconscious and not breathing. The ambulance got there and I was still unconscious. And they told me after about 15 min. of them being there I was responsive. Then I was rushed to the ER. I couldn't talk, like nothing was coming out of my mouth when I tried to talk and it scared me! They gave me some medicine through my IV that would help me relax and when they were taking me to xray (they thought I did something to my neck and back because I complained a lot about it hurting really bad), I saw my grandma and I told her that I didn't want to go back to CC....that afternoon, I talked to Dr. Hopkins and we both decided that it would be a good idea to take a leave of absence and withdraw from my classes. I was devasted because that was the last thing I wanted to do because I LOVE CC and EVERYONE there! I've met SO many great people and became friends with everyone there! Everyone I have met there have been supportive towards to and my difficulties (especially Alexis Murdock, my LA 100 instructor from Fall semester, and Dr. Johnston, my chorus director for both semesters...these 2 women are AMAZING!)....but I knew that this was the right decision no matter how I felt about it.

9.) SO! on February 5th, the day after I was rushed the ER, I packed up all of my stuff and moved out on February 6th. I couldn't stop crying. Melissa (my roommate) has become my best friend and CC has become my home and it was very hard to leave! But Dr. Johnston, Alexis, and SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE have given me courage, strength, and support and are with me every step of the way. Dr. Johnston said this to me and it will stick with me for the REST OF MY LIFE: "...but don't give up on your dreams. This is only a change of direction, not a beginning or end. Whatever your dreams are, they are of value, and you can achieve them. I believe that with faith all things are possible. I believe that of you as I believe it of myself, and of the world we live in!" GOSH I LOVE HER!

10.) EXCITING NEWS!: TODAY: February 16th! I GOT ACCEPTED TO THE ART INSTITUTE OF CHARLESTON! I AM SO STOKED!!! I seriously cried when they called me and told that I was accpeted because this means EVERYTHING to me! I have decided to major in photography. I want to be a professional photographer AND a photography teacher! KRay has told me for so long to never give up my dream to teach because that's one thing I would absolutely LOVE to do! I'm so glad that God has shown me His path for me once again, and I'm always blessed to have such great family and friends behind me to support and love me! I love them so much words can never describe! So thanks everyone

11.) ok WOOO! that was a mouth full! Well I'm heading out! Bean (Jessica MO Moyer!) is picking me up soon so we can go pick up KRay to do movie night tonight! SO EXCITED! Today's gonna be an awesome day! :)

I hope everyone has a blessed day and a wonderful week! I'll try and post more details of my awesome life more often! ha! Love you all! :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Life in One Short Month

Life has been so crazy lately, and I can't even describe it. Life has been hard, frustrating, unfair, exciting at times, and unbelievable. In the last month that I haven't been on here, I've lost a friend due to a car accident, saw a very important someone who I've missed so much (even though I saw her this past summer, but that feels like forever ago), have endured a lot of physical and emotional pain, and have gone to the ER more than the average person should. Out of all these hardships and leaps and bounds, I've stayed strong.

I went to my friend, Greg's, viewing and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do or see. I did not see myself saying goodbye to a friend like that and I hope that I don't have to do that ever again. My heart is at ease right now because of his mom's story. His mom told me that he wasn't alone. There was a woman who witnessed the accident. She went over to Greg, saw that he was gone, sat in his damaged car, held his hand, and prayed over him. She didn't know his name, how old he was, where he was from, nothing. She didn't even know what to do...other than pray real hard. I am relieved that he wasn't alone even if he passed suddenly. I know Greg is in a better place. He's happier than he ever would be on Earth, and he's in good hands. He's safe. He's loved and missed so much.

Over Fall Break, I went to my stepmom's house. I only get to see her but once a year if that, but I'm so glad that I've gotten to see her 3 times now (and a 4th time over Christmas Break). I miss her every day and love her more than she'll ever know. It was a very emotional weekend while I was there because of my seizures and finding out that Greg passed away, but I did have fun with her. I'm so glad she's there for me to this day, even after years of her and my dad being divorced. Many people think it's quite weird that I still talk to her, but no one else matters. Tammy's one of my best friends and she's still my "mom" no matter what the papers say, no matter what people say, no matter what. I love her so much and I miss her terribly.

This past Monday, I had at EEG done, and I won't know anything until tomorrow afternoon. I hope I at least get SOME questions answered. I'm tired of all the pain, all the tests, all the ER and hospital visits, all the bruises from the IVs put in me, all the blood work, all the medications I get put on, being scared out of my mind, getting sick, being "sick", everything! No one should go through 3 years of pain, 3 years being scared to sleep or do anything, 3 years of tests after same tests, 3 years of not knowing what's wrong with you. But I'm not going to give up. I refuse to give up without a fight, and I fight the pain everyday. I'm strong because the people around me make me strong and give me courage to keep fighting.

..............................to be cont.......................

Friday, September 18, 2009

"It's ok to share the load" thanks KRay!

This week has just been plain out awful, I won't lie. It's been one of those kinds of weeks where I just can't put a smile on my face for long. I passed out on Monday because I couldn't eat since I had back-to-back classes from 9:00-3:00 without a lunch break. I passed out in my dorm room and totally skipped my voice class in order to go to lunch. Then on Tuesday, I passed out in Jackie's and Paige's dorm room. I thought it was my blood sugar, but it wasn't. The paramedics thought it was something else so I agreed to go to the emergency room (which when I got there I knew it was a bad decision). They told me it was a seizure and so was the blackout I had on Monday. I still don't think it was a seizure. I know my body. The ER doctor also told me that none of my other health problems were a factor which was totally wrong because I was having an asthma attack in the middle of me passing out. Usually when I have a seizure, I don't remember anything and I'm violently shaking. They just now are figuring out that I have seizures. They believe the day I passed out in January of 2008 at school and the day I passed out back in May of this year at the Senior Bonfire, was a seizure (and again, I don't remember what happened and I was shaking violently). I remember passing out on Monday and Tuesday and I was shaking, like blood sugar shaking. I was weak and dizzy. It's just all frustrating. I haven't been to any of my classes since Tuesday, missed a Precal test yesterday, and I'm really far behind.

Today, I went to the doctor because I've been having really bad, sharp pains on my left side from my ribs all the way down to my hip bone and around my diaphragm. I did blood work (which they had to poke both of my arms and dig to get a vein...fun right? YEAH RIGHT!). My test came back negative for any stomach ulcers and I'll find out on Monday if anything is wrong with my liver. My doctor thinks that it's all the medicine I'm on so she took me off of the Naproxen and told me to double up on my Nexium. Just glorious! I've been scared that something like this was going to happen and they told me that it was "ok" to take all that medicine at once where it won't do any harm. YEAH RIGHT! No offense to any of the doctors I've seen (and trust me, I've seen too many), but I'm really sick of all the tests, x-rays, MRIs, blood work, IVs, just EVERYTHING! It'll be 3 years in October, I believe, that all of this has been going on. They've tested me for diabetes (negative), tumors (negative), heart problems (negative), ulcers (negative) EVERYTHING UNDER THE MOON! and it's all NEGATIVE! It's scary, frustrating, and just plain out tiring. All the doctor appointments, ambulance rides, Emergency Room visits, pass outs, asthma attacks, medicines, just everything. But you know? I've been hanging in there, staying strong, taking all the pain that goes with the tests and the everyday pain, trusting God and knowing that He's with me, and choosing to put a smile on my face acting like every thing's fine when it's not. My stepmom, Tammy, has told me so many times that it's amazing how much I've been through the last 3 years and in my whole life and yet, I still have a smile on my face and have enough strength to say, "I'm doing ok," to someone who asks how I am, even though I'm far from just "ok." I'm honestly terrible. I'm just blessed to have family and friends who are so supporting even though they have no idea what it's like going through all of this, but they try they're best to keep me sane and smiling while taking everything off of my mind. I'm really grateful to have 2 awesome teachers behind me as well. Not only were they my teachers back in high school, but also my best friends and I'm glad I can still call them my best friends. Yesterday, Mrs. Ray could tell that something was wrong other than me just being in pain, and she told me that even though it's hard to talk about, it's even better to share the load sometimes. So, I told her everything that was on my mind. Mrs. Ray and Mrs. Moore have been there for me so long and this week, they're the main ones (including my mom and grandma) who have kept me sane and made sure that smile on my face was kept in it's place and I thank them so much for that. They always know what to do to make me feel better. They both just crack me up even if it's only them tripping over their own 2 feet (one foot for Mrs. Moore haha long story). I'm just so glad I have them to go to.

This week has just been a roller coaster and I'm trying my best to stay on no matter how many times it goes up, down, and around. I choose to stay strong and have a smile on my face no matter how hard it is and how much it hurts. I'm just ready for this to be over with and right now, but I feel like it's not going to. Everyone keeps telling me that they understand and that everything will be "ok" when they truly don't understand until they're in my position and when they don't know if everything will be "ok". Not trying to be negative, but I feel like it won't ever be just "ok". I'm trying to stay positive and just not think about it, but it's very hard. I'm trying to stay patient and ready for anything, but if it's not one thing, it's another. BUT! I'm going to trust in God and know that He is with me and that I will eventually be "ok".

I hope everyone has a great and restful weekend and a happy week to follow. Happy early "26th" Birthday KRay! YOU'RE SUCHA BAD LIAR! haha I will ALWAYS remember the day I found out how old you really are!...KRay: "Hey, Mariah! Could you go out to my car, girlfriend, so she can get those waters for FCA?" Me: "Yeah sure!" (me up to know good, you throw me your keys which you knew was a no-no after I came back!) I was just playing with your Velcro wallet on your keys and noticed your DRIVER'S LICENSE so I run back up to your room with Alana and we're just cracking up...KRay: "What are you laughing at, girlfriend?!?!" Me: "bahaha I know how old you are nah-nah-nah-nah-BOO-BOO!" KRay: "pshhh no you don't....OH CRAP YOU DO, you sneaky little thing you!" bahaha I love you and you totally make my day every time I see you! So have a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! "Usually I tell my kids I'm 103!" love you, "GIRLFRIEND!" :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

"You say pickles funny TOO!"

Ok so the title of the blog is just a story by itself. Jackie and I ALWAYS pick on KRay because she says "pickles" SOOO funny with that cute accent of hers and Jackie's roommate, Paige has that same accent, so we told Paige to say "pickles" and she did it and Jackie and I rolled on the floor laughing while Paige looked at us like we were on crack sort of her KRay looked at me that one day in the car when I pointed out how funny she said "pickles". haha! but ANYWAY

Wow! I haven't updated in more than a week and I apologize. It's just been a very busy weekend and week at that! Let's see:

I went home this past weekend and had a lot of fun (minus Dakota being a brat, but what's new? lol). I watched some movies with my mom and just relaxed all weekend. Sunday night, we all went to my grandparents' house (who live right in front of me) to celebrate Amber's 21st birthday wahooo! :) And me and Jon-Ryan swore up and down that my grandma put mayonaise in that dang cake icing, but she said she didn't. We were still convinced that she did because it sure did taste like that and we were the only ones that tasted it haha! But anyway we had a blast!

I didn't go home until Tuesday morning which me and my mom were doing last minute shopping at 8:30 that morning. We went to Kohls to get me some jeans and a shirt and then to CVS here across from the campus to get some groceries. I was like 3 minutes late to my chorus class, but it was all good.

This week has been SO TIRING! Tuesday was a pretty chill day until that night! My LA 100 class and I had dinner with President Whitson (she's the president of C^2 if you didn't catch that lol). She's just so awesome and very sweet AND funny! We all had a great time and took TONS of pictures! Then after the dinner I went with Jackie and Jessica to the USC campus to go to this church event called RUF. We met a lot of nice people and it was just a blast! Britton, the preacher I guess he was lol, looks and talks EXACTLY like KRay's husband, Lawrence. It kinda freaked me out a little lol, but he's a very nice and funny guy. After RUF we went to Marble Slab which I must say I envy USC students SO BAD! They have a Burger King, Chick-Fil-A, Taco Bell, Marble Slab, and a Pizza Hut in their 2 story cafeteria. I don't like Burger King, but still, I envy them JUUUSSTT A LITTLE BIT! lol We had a lot of fun though. OH OH OH! So when Jackie, Jessica, and I were coming back to C^2, it totally made our night because we saw a prostitute which was VERY DISGUSTING but funny nonetheless. That shows how "bad" the neighborhoods are over here, but I still love C^2. We also got to ride in a cop car. NO, we didn't get in trouble. We were just getting escorted from the parking lot to our dorms because it's like 2 blocks away from the parking lot where we have to park. So that was the first time we ever rode in a cop car which is a good thing of course! :)

Yesterday, was just plain out exhausting. I had 4 classes and chapel to go to so I was go-go-Mariah from 9:00-2:30 (that's including lunch MOM). I got to eat at 2:00 right after chapel, but that wasn't good considering I hadn't eaten since 8:00 that morning. On Mondays, I don't get a lunch break at all because I have 6 classes on that day and then on Wednesdays I don't get a lunch break until 2:00. So, I think I'm going to go to Dean Kelley and ask her if there's any way I could do community service with KRay instead of going to chapel because by the time 2:00 rolls around, my blood sugar is really low and I feel extremely weak which isn't good at all. I've already passed out here already so I don't need that to happen again. :/

Today, is just quite boring I must say except my chorus class this morning even though I was quite tired. Melissa had to go home yesterday afternoon because she has the flu so maintenance had to come in our room and disinfect everything. I have hardly even seen Melissa since Friday so I think I'm good. I was hardly even in our room yesterday and I feel fine so I'm pretty sure I'm ok :)

Well now, I'm off to do more HW! booo. I have a 1:30 music class today and then I'm coming back here and either sleeping or doing more HW. I guess it all depends on whether or not I finish my HW now lol. But I hope all of you are having a good week and I miss you guys and love yall so much! I'll see most of yall either at the Homecoming Game/5th Quarter tomorrow night or at Chrysalis on Sunday night! :)

the elevator was amusing :)





Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Sick :(

Well I had to go home last night because I was sick and I didn't want to get my roommate sick if I was contagious (which I don't think I was...I'm pretty sure all it is is asthma and sinus junk since the temperature dropped). So I got some sinus medicine in me and I feel some what better. The only bad thing is that I couldn't really sing in chorus today :/

But anyway, classes are going good. Yesterday was my first day of my Precalculus 104 class and it went very well. Yesterday was a VERY lonnnggg day! I had 5 classes and a voice lesson, so technically I had 6 classes and didn't have a lunch break. I was in classes from 9:00 in the a.m. to 2:50 in the p.m. It wasn't fun at all! Then I went home and went up to the high school to run errands and came back to my house and took pictures and just relaxed since I didn't feel good.

Today, was a better day I guess you could say. I still don't feel so hot, couldn't sing that well in chorus, and didn't have an appetite. BUT OMGOSH! So I went to the bookstore to see if any of the rest of my books were in (which they weren't booo), but I DID get my Casio calculator and can I just say, IT'S FREAKIN' AWESOME! ok yes, I'm a math nerd, this I know. You don't have to ask or question me on that! haha

Haha I'm watching a Jeff Dunham video (and if you've never heard of him or have never watched some of his videos, PLEASE DO they are HILARIOUS!). Well anyway, I'm watching the one Mrs. Moore was telling me about like 2 weeks ago about the prius. It's really funny and what makes it funnier is knowing that KRay HAS a prius! haha you HAVE to go watch it! (KRay that means you too...you'll totally love it!) here's the link: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP-tyvBGla4) :)

Well I'm going to cut it shorter than usual because I'm EXTREMELY tired and even though it's only 10:15, I'm going to bed!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Better Day...I Believe

So today was...ok for the most part. The only real bad thing about today was that I wasn't able to get 3 of my books because the book store is YET AGAIN out of the books I need. It's driving me crazy that I can't do my homework over the weekend. (Yes, that just came out of Mariah's mouth). But the plus of today, was that I got to drop a class. I dropped my Computer Science class because the woman was teaching us MATH! I love math and all because I mean, come on, that's my major, but she was just not making sense. I was telling Mrs. Moore about her and she's actually Mrs. Moore's NEIGHBOR! I know, small world, right? Well, Mrs. Moore was telling me how she LOVES math! (by the way, this professor of this course, she's French. She came here 26 years ago from France and still has the heavy accent). But anywho, Mrs. Moore was telling me how Madame Shepp (is her name by the way) LOVES to figure out loop holes in math and don't get me wrong, I do too, but she was teaching us binary numbers. Now, I've been taught what and how to do binary numbers and the way she was teaching it was totally confusing not to mention this was a computer class. She was also telling us how your middle finger means the number 4 which totally threw me off. I wasn't very engaged in her class today and I guess I should have been to understand what she was saying (she's a very cool teacher nonetheless), but it was just SO confusing! But anyway back to my point. I went to my academic advisor who is THE sweetest person, and she told me that she didn't know why the people put me in that computer class when I didn't really need it, but instead needed ANOTHER Precalculus class which is ok with me (I think). I have to have Precalculus 104 AND 106 in order to go on to Calculus next semester (whee!) I love math and I guess I'll have to see how the two precalculus classes go in order for me to be less stressed I guess you could say.

Random note: we also have a case of the N1H1 flu which I'm guessing that's the swine flu lol so that's not good

But anyway, I'm getting adjusted to Columbia College even though I am at home now, but I'm not the only one. I saw A LOT of people going home today (probably because they're "scared" of getting the flu, but I mean come on, the flu is everywhere! so that's not the reason I went home lol). I know, I know, what un-nonconformist I am following everyone who's going home haha! I feel like such a stranger at my house though (not in a bad way of course). It's just that I don't have anything here except for things I didn't need to take (paintings, winter clothes, etc.). Everything's at my dorm and never in my life have I said, "I think I'm forgetting something," when I'm going to MY OWN HOUSE! lol (besides the exceptions of being at my friends' houses). So it just feels very weird.

I watched August Rush with my mom tonight (thanks to Mrs. Moore :) ) I love love love LOVE that movie and what I really love is the verse the little boy uses in the beginning and the ending: "Music is all around us, all we have to do is listen!" ahhhh! so powerful! ok sorry, I'm in love with that movie now :)

OH OH OH! so yesterday was my first day of my chorus classes and they were SO much fun! I did however get an email today saying I've been moved from an applied class to a voice class which is so exciting and I get the same teacher so we all win. The only bad thing about that is that instead of 5 classes on Mondays, I'll have 6 and will be going from 9:00 that morning to 3:00 that afternoon with NO BREAKS! So, I think I'm going to talk to my academic advisor as soon as I get back on campus and as soon as she's in her office in order to do something about my Mondays because with my blood sugar the way it gets, I can't afford not being able to eat for 6 hours! :/

Oh ok ONE more thing! I just really want to thank Mrs. Moore for 2 things: 1.) for talking to me at 3:30 when I got to the high school! I love love love LOVE our talks no matter how short or long or random they get. She always knows what to do and say to make me feel SO much better about my life no matter if her advice only lasts a few minutes, hours, days, or weeks; and 2.) for teaching me in English 4 my senior year of high school and ACT/SAT Prep my junior year. I did my first essay as a college student today and without Mrs. Moore's help these 2 years, pushing me over and over again not to use "I" or certain easy, slack words like "do" but to instead use words like "accomplish" let's say (and also not to use the word "like" lol but instead "such as" haha). So kudos to Mrs. Moore for helping me and teaching me those things. I really do think I did very well on that essay even though I was rushed. Mrs. Moore? Well, she's wonderful and I'm sad I can only see her for a short period of time once a week, but before I know it, I'll be teaching with her (well in the same high school lol). She's just awesome! LOVE YOU MOORE! :) Also, KRay, I miss you and even though I just saw your awesome FACE on Tuesday, it seems like so long because my days are SOOO long at Columbia College. I can't wait until NEXT Friday when I'll be able to talk to you and tell you everything that's been going on! I miss you two women ALREADY and never knew it would be this hard until I got here.

Well, this was extremely long and I will shutup now! haha I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL weekend and a great week that follows! You guys are so amazing and I just want to thank each and every one of you guys for the awesome support and advice you all have given me. Love you all and miss you all tons! :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

1ST CHORUS CLASS!

Wheee! Chorus was so much fun even though I EXTREMELY miss your class, C-Way! Mrs. Johnston has us doing these REALLY funny exercises. We did jumping jacks, this weird foot side-side-back-back thing, all of these exercises that made us look pregnant, and some breathing exercises. We actually did the same little hand exercise like in C-Way's class where we have to put our hand on our cheek and made sure our jaw was dropping. Then we did voice exercises which were really good. I'm loving my chorus director, she's amazing and SOOO funny! "I'm an idiot and as long as you meet me half way to idioticness, then we'll all be idiots together" bahaha. It was great!

So, today I have another chorus class called Music of the World. If THAT doesn't sound like ponies and rainbows, I don't know what does! lol. Then I have a meeting to figure out my book situation at 3:20. Then have the rest of the day to do homework that I haven't been able to do because I don't have the software or the books to do it and THAT'S about to drive me nuts! Even though I STILL have to jump on that reading in Nickel and Dimed, so I might just do that until 1:00.

I'm really hungry, but I don't won't to go to the dining hall blehhh! (even though our food is WAY better then Lexington High School's is) It's funny, we have pizza that might as well be delivery, ice cream, SODAS, and so many other things that LHS isn't allowed to have so kudos to us! lol

I'm really getting used to living here even though some days are harder than others. Like I've been saying, I know I'm only 30 minutes away, but it FEELS further away really. I'm kind of glad I didn't go to Winthrop just because I don't think I could have handled being THAT far away. I am probably THE BIGGEST home-body there is and I know I have to get over that, but when you're SO used to things back home, you don't know what to really do when you're living on your own. So, I'm gradually moving further away and I think that'll help me "fly away from the nest" lol. I really believe that God is doing this for a reason just like I believe He does EVERYTHING for a reason. I can feel Him pushing me everyday to enjoy the things I have and the things I'm able to do because a lot of people aren't able to do these things. So, I'm trying really hard :)

Well I'm going to "shut my pole hole" as Dakota says it and go eat lunch in the dining hall (maybe I might eat lunch in my room) so I'll talk to all of you guys later! Love you lots, miss you tons :)

Power Outage

Well, I had planned to go to bed at 9:00, but that didn't happen. Instead, I went to bed around 11:30 (which still wasn't bad considering I had to wake up at 9:00 this morning). Well around 4:15 this morning, the power cut off and I know this because my fan cut off (yes I sleep with a fan DIRECTLY on me. It helps my asthma at night). So I wasn't a very happy camper, but luckily it turned back on about 30 minutes later.

Right now, I'm eating a chocolate chip cookie dough poptart and it's quite delicious haha! I have about 10 more minutes until I have to head out for one of my chorus classes, so I'm going to cut it short and depart until after my class, so I'll tell all of you how it went when I get back. Love you all bunches and miss y'all tons! :)

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

First Day of Classes

So, today was...interesting to say the least. Very very VERY different from high school may I add. All of my classes are only 50 minutes long except for one of my chorus classes that I start tomorrow. On Mondays and Wednesdays I have 5 classes: Reading/Learning Strategies, Precalculus/Triginometry, Fundamentals of English, Computer Science, and LA 100; on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have 2 classes: Chorus Ensemble and Music of the World (which are like Choral and Chamber back at LHS); and then finally on Fridays I have 3 classes: Reading/Learning Strategies, Fundamentals of English, and Computer Science. Very busy schedule, but like I said way different than high school. My classes are shorter than LHS's were, but I'm sure they'll be harder. Tonight I didn't have any homework except for little things like get my books, set up my software programs, and all that jazz, but I can't do that until I get my books tomorrow. I was really stressing out today because I didn't have any of my books, but in each class, about half of the class didn't have their books either so I didn't feel as bad. I had to run everywhere to try and figure out my book situation and my WONDERFUL mom called the office and they told her to tell me that they'd figure it all out at the meeting tomorrow that I had set up on move-in day. I have $4000 to spend on my books is what I believe my mom told me, so that's a plus. ;)

Tomorrow, classes start at 10:00 instead of 9:00 and I only have classes from 10:00-10:50 and 1:30-2:45. Today I didn't get a break until 1:00. I had class back-to-back since 9:00 this morning which isn't too bad since they're not even an hour long. Tomorrow is still a big day though because I have a bunch of errands to run.

2 days until I can go home. Spending some time with my dad this weekend and of course my wonderful mom and brother. I love you guys

Well me and Melissa are going to bed, big day tomorrow. Love you guys bunches and miss y'all tons! :)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Ready, but Unprepared

So today has been a relaxing day. I'm spending the day at home and with my mom. We're about to go pick up Dakota from school, then come back here and relax some, then go up to the school and surprise KRay and Mrs. Moore, and then later on tonight I'm going back to my dorm and getting ready for classes tomorrow. I'm looking forward to my classes tomorrow, but then at the same time, I'm not. I'm a little worried about how they're going to play out. I know it'll be TOTALLY different then high school and I never knew how much I'd miss Lexington High School until now haha! I know I'm only 30 minutes away, but it feels more than that when I'm at Columbia College. Hopefully it'll get better once I'm in a routine.

Well I'm cutting it short for now. I think I'm going to go start editing Brittany's pictures. I love you all and I miss everyone of you! :)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Phewww! Done with Orientation :)

So today was the last day of orientation and it feels really good to be done with that even though I did have a lot of fun! I'm actually spending the night at my house tonight. Dakota really missed me and he'd cry every time I talked to him on the phone. :( So I came home and surprised him and the minute he saw me, he gave me the biggest hug and wouldn't let go, and he told me how much he missed me. I love him so much! Before I surprised him, I got in my grandparents' driveway (they live right in front of me) and I called my grandma and she asked me how my day was (thinking I was in my dorm) and when I rang the door bell, she heard the door bell and the dogs barking from my phone too and was like, "WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!" haha so she was VERY surprised and so was my grandpa.

(and I apologize for any mistakes on here, my "f" key is broken, so if a word looks a little fishy, then a "f" is probably supposed to be there even though I can't type anyway haha). But anyway, recap of today: we had a bunch of meetings to go to, then they showed us our classrooms and junk, and then we did out Sister skits (which were all funny). I really can't think of anything else we did since I'm at my house and I don't have my orientation schedule sheet with me lol. My brain is total mush. Everyday feels like it's going by pretty fast, but by the end of the day, it feels like that particular day was a week! We have really long days and A LOT to do. So I'm glad that's over pheww!

So tonight, I'm having a "sleepover" in my Dakota's room since my mom painted my room this past weekend and the paint fumes are horrible! I'm really bad and I'm sitting here in my room handling the paint fumes (which aren't very strong) WITH the door shut may I add. lol but yeah I love my blue room even though there's NOTHING in my room because I took it all to my dorm (yes EVERYTHING ask Melissa. She probably thinks I'm crazy bringing all of that stuff in our room haha). My room used to be yellow and I liked that a lot because I love the color yellow and I did that color because of my Aunt Nora who passed away a year ago. She was the reason why I loved that color so much (and it's my birthstone so..) But I'm loving the blue. It's close to the colors of my towels back at my dorm (even though y'all have NO idea what shade of blue that is lol). It's like a turquoise sort of, but nonetheless, pretty! :) haha it matches my bed mattress! You can see what kind of yellow my room WAS in those pictures down there!

Well, I'm calling it a night and going to go sleep in my brother's room and watch uhhh...Shrek 2! THAT'S the movie he picked out! yay! I love that movie lol :) so night all. I should be putting pictures up soon so look for those probably tomorrow :)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

STOP! It's picture time! :)

empty room
he knew I was leaving and wouldn't stop following me :(

loaded vanagainroom 243 double M.S.ers :)this is what it looked like when I got in thereclosets (mine's on the left behind the door...they just put all of my stuff there to get it out of the way. It only took about 10 minutes to unpack my stuff because we had so much help. Me and my mom only had to take 1-2 trips so kuddos and a big thanks for the people who helped us and everyone :)my bed semi made up

yay! Hannah came to visit! (she's a communter here and wants to room now SOOO bad!)
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our hall group! 2nd South Sisters! BACK IN BLACK! WE'RE BLACK AND WE'RE PROUD! haha :)
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the yellow team one the spirit stick for most creative I guess you could say "hall cheer" (they're 2nd East which is Jackie's hall)
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Saturday morning, all of the LA 100 groups (which is all of us freshman) went to out own individual community service. My class went to the Ronald McDonald House and it was SO much fun! A lot of us got to play with a little boy and he wore us OUT! so there's my butt climbing in the playground (we were playing hide and go seek tag and he made me and 3 other girls hide in there) haha!
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Kanesha, Kristin, me, Brittany, Emily, Jordan, and the little boy :)
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Miss Alexis Murdock a.k.a MurDUCK/most amazing LA 100 teacher ever!Image and video hosting by TinyPic
me, Jordan, and Emily resting in the toy area at the Ronald McDonald House :)
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"TEAM MURDOCK, TEAM MURDOCK, GO!"
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Luau Dinner :)
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a bunch of girls kept on throwing fries in her drink! haha
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BANANAS! haha don't we all WISH that's what came out of her mouth! haha I love you Hannah
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me and Jackie at the Luau Dinner
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me, Hannah, and Jackie at the Luau Dinner
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Saturday, August 22, 2009

Day 2: Follow Up: Very Tired

So, today was VERY tiring. It was a very long day! That community service project we did this morning felt like we did it like yesterday instead of JUST this morning! It's crazy! I'm having a lot of fun so far. I've met a lot of cool and funny people.

The only bad part about today was that I passed out in the staircase after dinner. Sammi, a girl from my O-group (LA 100 class), found me and helped me out. She is also hypoglycemia so I felt a lot better knowing she's going through that as well. I knew what was going on and I had my mom on the phone the whole way through, so my mom helped me so much getting me to calm down because I was really scared since I'm in a whole new surrounding. I also had an asthma attack in the process of that, but I'm ok now. I had to miss 2 events, so I'm not happy about that, but I did get in a 2 hour nap, so that felt good. They just have us doing so much and even with me eating 3 meals and then snacks in between to regulate my blood sugar, it's just so overwheling and tiring. We walk A LOT and when I MEAN a lot, I really mean just that! lol....but umm...other than that I'm having fun. I really miss home and it's going to take a few weeks to get used to. I never knew how much I would miss Dakota! He's my best friend and always will be no matter how much he gets on my nerves. He's just a really big part in my life and I miss him a lot. I talked to him today and he told me how much he missed me and I could hardly understand him because he started crying, but I reassured him that I would see him soon and that when I got home, we'll play soccer and other games so he's excited about that.

My mom and grandma are coming tomorrow morning. I technically have free time until 1ish because I'm not going to the church service (I know shame shame on me, but I just feel more comfortable going to my own church for a few weeks). I'm really excited to see my mom and grandma even though I just saw them yesterday, but it definitely seems like a long time here since we have very long days. It's only Day 2 of orientation, have 2 more to go :)

But anyway, I'm about to go head over to Jackie's room to hang out with her since Paige and Jessica went out to party lol. So I love everyone SO much and I miss all of you tons!

Day 2: Unpacked and Settled

So, I'm all done unpacking (for the most part) and I'm just now getting a break from all of the activities and meetings we have to attend. My roommate is so so SO nice and I love her to death. I feel so bad though. I brought EVERYTHING I own to this dorm (and took half of it back to my house last night), but Melissa brought hardly anything! Even though she does live 10 minutes away from here lol. But umm...today was a very long day. We all woke up around 7ish, ate breakfast in the cafeteria at 8:00, then left at around 9:00 to do community service. Each LA 100 class (which is an English class) had different places to go. My class went to the Ronald McDonald House and it was SO much fun, tiring but nonetheless fun! We met a few people and one woman had a son with her husband and she was telling us how her thankful she is to have people to just help out just to help out. She was telling us how she had some sort of illness where she wasn't able to have kids, but she has a 7 year old little boy and a baby girl in the hospital fighting for her life because she was born weighing 1 lb. The baby was supposed to be due in October, but due to her mother's condition, they had to induce her early. It was very sad, but it really opened up our eyes and realize what we were doing there today. After we finished up our task in groups, we got to play with the 7 year old boy and boy was he tiring. He wore ALL of us out! lol But I had so much fun and I'd do it all over again if I had to!

Ok, well since I didn't get to do this yesterday like I wanted to, I thought I'd tell y'all how it went yesterday! One word out of many: EXHAUSTING! I had so much stuff, but there were SO many generous people that helped all of us move in, that it took me less than 10 minutes to get everything in. My mom and I only had to make 1-2 trips! It was awesome, but then I got in here and had NO IDEA where to start with unpacking, but I got everything done and even though I'm not quite as organized as I wanted (and as I was at home), I feel good about where I am right now. I'm having a lot of fun so far!

Last night everyone from Asbury Hall (the freshman building) came together in our own hallways and came up with a dance/cheer to do for a dance-off and to see which hall could win the spirit STICK! (that's for Jackie haha). We also had to pick a color for our hall and mine and Melissa's hall were black. Then EVERYONE went into the basement and showed everyone they're dance/cheer. The yellow Second East hall won (which is Jackie's, Paige's, and Jessica's hall). So they were pretty excited. (My hall is Second South by the way :])

But yeah, it really hasn't hit me quite yet that I'm in college. It just feels like I'm at camp since we're having so much fun! The only yucky part about being here is that I've gotten sick twice because I keep getting so over-heated, but I'll be okay. But anyway, I think it'll finally hit me that I'm actually IN college when classes start WEDNESDAY! I miss everyone SO much, but I'm coming home this coming weekend.

But anyway, I'm taking off now. Eating lunch in my room and then at 2:00, we have a presentation to go to until 3:00, then an O-Group meeting with out LA 100 class from 3:00-5:00, then a SISTER Skit from 5:00-5:45, then dinner from 5:45-6:30, then yet ANOTHER presentation to go to from 6:45-7:45, and FINALLY a THINK FAST game show event from 8:00-10:00. They have us SO busy! PHEWWW! So peace out GIRLscouts :)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Reason for this blog! :)

So the reason for this blog is to keep all of my friends and family up to date what's going on here at Columbia College. I know I'm only 30 minutes away, but still. 30 minutes away from my wonderful family missing out on my brother's day at school and seeing his face everyday and missing the facial reaction of my mom when the dog makes a mess; 30 minutes away from ALLL of my friends at LHS missing out on their laughs and little talks at the lunch table, missing KRay and Mrs. Moore trip in their classroom, missing out on helping KRay grade her papers and helping her around her room; 30 minutes away from a lot of things! I'm in a new surrounding, new environment, new EVERYTHING. I've never really ventured out into the Columbia area. I think the longest I've stayed in Columbia was at Finlay Park and the Art Museum, so there ya go. But anyway I just thought I'd set up this blog for everyone back in Lexington who's JUST WONDERING what Mariah does as a college student! haha that sounds weird, I won't lie! Love you guys alll so much! :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ready? Uncheck

Tomorrow I leave for college, and there are so many things going through my mind right now. I'm nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I don't feel ready to do this, but I know once I'm there I'll be fine. I know God is preparing me the best He can and I know He'll push me further and further to do what He wants me to do. I'm determined to do whatever it is that He sets me for and go down each and every path He puts me on with a positive attitude. So many people are behind me every step of the way and I'm so thankful for them. All of these people have shaped me into the person I am today and have helped me SO much throughout my life. I know I can do this and I'm not going to give up on myself. I'm going to be in a totally different surrounding, but I know I can do it. Just like Mrs. Moore tells me ALL the time, "can't never could." So I'm going to keep my head high, trust in God, and keep faith.I just want to thank these people for helping me and being there or me throughout my life:My mom: one of the strongest women I know. You're the reason why I'm such a strong person. When my dad left, it was hard, but that didn't stop you from keeping your head held high and a smile on your face everyday for me, Dakota, Amber. You have always pushed through everything you go through and I'm so glad that you taught me how to do that also. You are the BEST mom I could ever ask for and words can't even describe how much I love you. Turn my room into your Flamingo Room and really and truly enjoy it. Never forget the "Que Sera Sera" song. I love you so much!My "big" brother, Dakota. The first person I see in the morning and the last person I see at night. I'll never forget when you were 5 years old and told me that once you were taller than me, I'd be your little sister and you'd be my big brother, and how I told you, "not in your dreams, punk!" but look at you now: taller than me and enjoying every minute of calling me your little sister and "midget" I know we have a share of arguements and fights, but that still doesn't stop us from telling each other that we love one another everyday. I wouldn't be able to live without this boy right here. He is my best friend and the reason why I have a smile on my face each and every single day! Words can't even describe how much he means to me (even though he gets on my nerves a lot). I love him all the same and always will! I'm going to miss you so much, Dakota and I don't know what I'm going to do without your smiling face everyday. Nothing will ever be the same without you. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you constantly and that won't ever change. I love you so much! Batman and Spidergirl forever! "Best friends forever and ever all the way to the moon and back times infinity with ALL of the cookies in the world on top!"My big sister, Amber. We never liked each other until you moved away for college. We used to pick on each other, argue about everything, steal each others toys and makeup, and just beat the living snot out of each other. But that never stopped me from loving you. You're my best friend and I'm so glad I can talk to you and anything and everything. I know you and I are going our separate ways, but always remember that I love you and that I'm here or you because you have always been there for me. I love you, Amber and never forget that!My Nanie and Grandpa: The best grandparents ever! Yall have always been there for me. Nanie, you always give into my "one more thing" phrase and Grandpa, you are the most hard-working man I have ever known. You guys have always been there for me and only a "walk away!" I love yall so much! Nanie, never forget "meet me half way," "one more thing," and "pickin' my nose!"My Aunt Lisa and Uncle Joel: Yall have been there for me so much and I could never thank you guys enough. I can talk to yall about anything and yall give me the best advice. I love yall so much, words can't even describe how much.Tammy Tae Tae: You have helped me so much in the 9 years I have known you. Even with you and my dad being divorced for 6 years, you still love me and you're still there for me after all of these years. You have given me such great advice, so many hugs to comfort me, and so much reassurance to let me know that yes, lie is hard, but that I'll be ok. You too are one of the strongest women I know and you too have given me so much strength and have taught me so much! You're still my stepmom no matter what the "law" says and no matter how many papers show me that you're not, and I will always be your step-daughter. I love you so much and without you, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I love you, I love you more, I love you mean it, I love you BIG, and I love you BIG mean it more! Never forget the little dances you and I used to do and still do to this day, and "I didn't know your last name was GARICA!" hahaKRazy Rizzle Ray! You have been there for me for 4 years and have taught me SO much that I couldn't ever teach myself on my own in a lifetime. When you didn't even have to, you did. You have never given up one me, and you have always told me to "stick to my guns!" I've asked myself so many times what I'll ever do without you every single day, and I still don't know the answer to that. You and I have gotten to known each other so well and we've been there for each other the whole way through. You are one the strongest women I have ever met and there's no way I can thank you enough. Always remember: pickles, you turning "24", the pour down rain adventure, "oh, it's all John Edwards' fault!", smacking Thomas in the car, "come see me next year"s, and all of those funny days in your room. You will always be in my heart and I know I'll see you throughout the year because nothing can keep us apart. You have not only become a 2nd mom to me, but a best friend as well. I love you so much and I thank you for being there for me when I felt like I had no one else.Pocahontas! You totally let yourself claim that nickname! bahaha! I've only known you or 2 years, but those 2 years have changed my life. You have jumped on the bandwagon of 2nd moms and I'm so glad that I got a chance to meet you. You are just amazing! You have taught me so much, helped me with so many problems, and gave me great advice along the way. Just like KRay, you have been there for me with an answer ready and a hug in store. You too, I don't know what I'm going to do without. You have carried me so far and I thank you so much for spending the time with me that you have. You are amazing and I love you so much! Always remember: paperclips ("I can NEVER look at a paperclip the same now because of you! I asked my son Blair to get me a paperclip from the drawer and I busted out laughing and he looked at me like I was on drugs!" haha), Palm Tree Lady (1st nickname), The Pretty Indian Lady (2nd nickname), Pocahontas (3rd nickname), how much Dakota loved you, The GENA poem, "please tell me your life story", "who's that black lady in your ID picture?", Brittany Mariah Moore and Mariah Brittany Moore, "I got the last hug :P", and how you and I raced down the hallway with your scooter. I LOVE YOU MOORE, I LOVE YOU SIMONS!